Couples are naturally inclined to want the best for each other and to protect each other from being hurt or becoming upset. But sometimes, this protective instinct can feel a little too much. It can become overly protective and possibly intrusive. This is damaging to the health and functioning in a relationship. Overprotectiveness in couples can lead to feelings of mistrust, resentment, and insecurity, which can be harmful to the couple’s bond and lead to an unhealthy dynamic. Let’s look at why overprotection is so dangerous for relationships.
Lack of Trust
When one partner is overly protective of the other, it can create a sense of mistrust between them. If one partner is constantly questioning or doubting the other’s decisions or activities, it implies that they don’t think their partner is capable of handling things on their own. It creates a lack of trust between them and can lead to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy in the relationship.
Feelings of Resentment
Overprotectiveness may also result in feelings of resentment between partners. Even when the intention is to look-out for a partner, it might be perceived and experienced as controlling or being micromanaged by the other. This can lead to feelings of bitterness and anger towards the protective partner. Resentment manifests in many different ways, including passive-aggressive behavior and sometimes, even physical aggression. Unsurprisingly, these feelings can create a significant wedge between a couple with the result that they may start to grow distant and pull apart from oner another.
Inability to Grow Independently
Finally, when overprotectiveness is present within a relationship, it often prevents both partners from growing independently as individuals. When one partner feels like they need constant validation or approval from their significant other before making decisions or taking risks, they will never be able to truly grow on their own as an individual — which could potentially prevent them from reaching their full potential in life outside the relationship as well.
Overprotectiveness within a relationship may seem harmless and maybe even desirable at first glance but it can have long-term, detrimental effects on both partners if left unchecked. It is important for couples to recognize when this behavior might be occurring so that they can work together to address any underlying issues that may be causing the desire to be overprotective before things spiral out of control. With good communication and awareness, couples who are struggling with this issue should be able to find healthier ways to show support and care for each other without sacrificing either person’s independence or freedom within the relationship.
If you and your partner feel like overprotectiveness is impacting your relationship, consider couples therapy. Couples therapy can help you both identify when this pattern of behavior is occurring and how to address this concern when it happens. Our clinicians at Headway Therapy can help you and your partner develop healthy and sustainable patterns of communication so that you can both grow in your relationship with one another.
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